Letter To Mr. Pete Tesch, Chairman

of the Ocala/Marion County Economic Development Corporation
 

January 20, 2007

To:
Pete Tesch
Chairman
Ocala/Marion County Economic Development Corporation

From:
Bob Burke
Publisher
Dunnellon Online


Dear Mr. Tesch,

  In light of the recent offer of $13.5 (+) million dollars of Marion County taxpayers’ money to entice E-One to stay in Marion County, I would like to make the following request:

  As the publisher of a small online news and information site based in Marion County, I would like to inform you that our board of directors has decided to seek another location from which to run our operation. As you are probably aware, we employ two people at an average salary of $87.32 per annum. Of course, this does not include the financial impact on the county from our suppliers, such as Walmart and Gordita’s Mexican Restaurant, where our employees spend most of their money.

  I believe that your offer to E-One has set a precedent, and would like to get in on this money-grab. I think that it’s absolutely wonderful that you, as a non-elected body, have found a way to spend tax dollars, without the troublesome formalities of putting the expenditure before the stupid taxpayers! You guys are pretty smart!

  What we are requesting is modest, compared to E-One’s huge bite of tax money. If you can supply us with $3.5 million dollars (cash, in small bills), as well as lease us 25 acres in downtown Dunnellon for $1/year, we may decide to remain in Marion County. You will be a big hero with the Commissioners, and the dumb taxpayers won’t have a thing to say about it!

  Please respond to this veiled threat as soon as possible, as we have had overtures from other municipalities, such as Crooked Rock, Arkansas and Fetid Swamp, Alabama. Their offers are pretty sweet, so don’t delay!

  If you agree, we can pick up the money at your office, or you can meet us behind the Bingo Hall in Dunnellon at midnight. We will be in the company limo, a 1990 Chevy Blazer. No need to expose this deal to prying eyes.
Hope to hear from you soon!

Bob Burke
www.dunnellononline.com