Another election.

  Another procession of blowhards, scalawags and miscreants competing for a spot at the public trough, and a chance at fame and power. Hillary, Obama, Mitt, Rudy and The Johns. What a group! If you put these six people in a room together, you could save a fortune on your heating bill – the hot air they generate would heat your entire house all winter.

  Anyone who has lived through enough of these “elections” knows what a complete farce the process is. The Candidate visits a retirement community, and promises more goodies to the elderly. The Candidate visits a factory and promises to secure jobs. The Candidate rails against The Washington Insiders and Big Business and Big Oil and Big Brother, all the while greasing their campaigns with lobbyist’s money. At the end of this Presidential campaign, over one billion dollars will have been spent.

  I find the most interesting aspect of this current election campaign is the chorus of candidates calling for “change”. Change from what, exactly? Nobody seems to know, and the candidates are keeping that a secret. Supposedly, after they get elected, they will let us know.

  All of the candidates promise to be “tough on terrorism”. What exactly does that mean? That they will personally shoot any terrorists that climb over the White House fence? That they will rescind the special menus provided to the “detainees” in Guantanamo? I would like to take this opportunity to rally behind the candidates and promise to be tough on terrorism my own darned self. I promise to personally arrest any terrorist I find trying to bomb the Train Depot in Dunnellon.

  Hillary says she should be president because her husband was, and she took notes. Rudy says he should be president because he was the mayor of NYC when the towers were attacked. Mitt says he should be president because he built a successful business. Obama says he should be president because he’s not Hillary. One John says that there are “two Americas” and he wants to make it just One America. The other John says he is a “leader”, not a “follower”. Fred Thompson is gone, but he really wasn’t here in the first place. Little Dennis has also left the trail, citing an appointment with visitors from Alpha Centuri to discuss the Intergalactic Peace Treaty.

  The cast of this comedy would be spectacular if this election weren’t so important. The country is surrounded by enemies who have sworn to destroy us. The roads and bridges are falling apart. Food prices, gas prices, interest rates, foreclosures, health care, a shaky stock market, and a litany of other problems will face the next occupant of the Executive mansion.

  Looking at this field of candidates, all that I can say is………..God help us.




RB