The Wally Thorn School of City Management

Are you totally incompetent? Do you have problems with comprehension? Do you lack the ability to discern between a live tree and a dead one? Does a live cypress tree resemble a stand of dead underbrush to you? Do you think that river otters are fictional cartoon characters? Are you adept at dodging inquiries from the public? Can you function as a toadie of the mayor of a small town?

If you can fill all of these requirements, you have a job waiting for you as a City Manager!
Yes, you can occupy the Big Chair at the end of the dais, scowl at the public, and utter inane, incomprehensible statements, all while earning a whopping $62,400 Per annum!
Sound too good to be true? Believe it!

Yes, we at Wally Thorn School of City Management can put your derrière in that Big Chair in a matter of weeks!

What will you learn at the Wally Thorn School of City Management?

We will teach you how to take no-bid contracts like a pro. We will hone your dissembling skills to a fine point. When we’re finished with you, you will be able to wheel and deal with the best of them, all while earning that fat salary.

Our instructors have years of experience in City Management, and will help you master the fine points of:

                                                Cronyism: 101
                                                Fiscal Juggling: 101/Advanced
                                                No-Bid Contracts: 101
                                                Public Works: Beginning & Intermediate
                                                Creative Hiding: How to Hide In Plain Sight
                                                Public Relations 101: Inquiry Avoidance
                                                Grants 101: Digging For Dollars
                                                Florida Sunshine Law: Fact or Fiction?

If you are tired of the same old 9 to 5 grind, then City Management is for you! Call today, and begin that career you’ve always wanted.

Contact:

I. Ken Cheatham
Wally Thorn School of City Management
Dunnellon, Florida